Friday, September 25, 2015
Voice lesson on Imagery
Write two sentences that create a particular mood (terror, threat, joy, gloom, excitement...). Use at least two types of imagery to describe the weather, thereby setting and reinforcing the mood. Comment on at least one other post (imagery, language, effects, effectiveness...). Due by Friday, October 2nd.
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The icy air sparkles around her. A thorny wind blows between fir trees and pricks her eyes. A lightning slides on the ground but immediately, the golden snake takes away its light through the rocks.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a really good job and I really like the imagery with the golden snake which makes lightning even more scary with all the symbols that a snake can represent.
DeleteI really like the second sentence, the comparison is quite creative. It takes some imagination but I like the description of the cold yet burning wind dashing in your face.
DeleteWell done.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry for having written over two sentences (inspiration got me):
ReplyDeleteNight is not the time when you sleep; night is when you fear the destructive beast. It is when it comes to live and haunts you in every hospitable place. It blasts, it blares, it roars through the night, screaming piercingly in search of its new star-crossed victims.
And this time, I am one.
Hearing the wind relinquish and wave away, I know it is nigh; beholding the beast's monstrous stature, I know it is my time; smelling its macabre breath, I know it is done.
Thus, the darkness darkens.
Opening my eyes, angelically white light is everywhere: the Sun's silver rays had cleared away the whirlwind, revealing a vestige of destruction and homeless souls.
I really liked your work Jinte. Your imagery was on point and I really felt the fear and dark atmosphere around the lines you wrote! It also made me think of the structure of the poem we studied in french class "Aube" by Rimbaud.
DeleteI love your description Jinte ! I really felt the suspense, the fact that the reader understands everything in the last line is really striking. I also really like the way you played with the sound "w", it emphasizes the sound of the wind, or maybe the fear of the speaker, which is really interesting. Your text is very poetic, and the imageries are really strong and striking. Well done !
DeleteIt's really amazing Jinte: you did a really good job playing on sounds and you created suspence, heavy atmosphere. ;)
DeleteThe shiny waves of the immense ocean died down when the sky dimmed. The smoky air attracted us to a yellow tent, everybody was feasting around a loud radio.
ReplyDeleteSuddenly, a dazzling lightning pierced the sky, threatening to asphyxiate his soul to leave nothing but fright and darkness. The dreadful noise of roaring thunder made his whole body shiver as a heavy rain fell with a cold snap, paralyzing him in this living nightmare.
ReplyDeleteI really like your description Pauline: it is very well-structured and thanks to the well-chosen imagery (visual, auditory), the reader truly can feel what the speaker feels. The adjectives you used are really effective, especially when the speaker claims it truly is a "living nightmare": a nightmare is usually not something you want to face in real life and making it come to live is terrifying! And by putting these two completing words at the end of the description truly intensifies the dreadful and terrifying tone; the reader might even keep this feeling of anxiety after reading your description.
DeleteDancing colors, and flowery whiff. Over here, over here Spring's near !
ReplyDeleteI can definitely capture the joyful environment and lightness of Spring. However, I feel like you could definitely improve it by adding some touches to the colors you talked about, to create an even more springlike atmosphere!
DeleteIt was only five in the afternoon, but the sky, clear as the sea five minutes before, suddenly darkened. The atmosphere became suffocating and petrifying, as though the clock of the world suddenly slowed down. A deep and grave scream interrupted the loud silence. It was five in the afternoon, and the village was now drowned under the night.
ReplyDeleteYour description really appeals to the senses and I think that's why it's very effective. The suspense at the end makes me want to read more !
DeleteThere's a very oppressive atmosphere in your description Olivia ; I really liked how instantaneous this transition seems to be, and how you convey a powerful idea of isolation; from the clouds that seem to be closing in aggressively on the village to the ideas of drowning and the lone scream really bring to life a vivid image in my mind of a small, helpless village in the middle of nowhere, in the dark, waiting to meet its fate.
DeleteA brisk wind was biting my cheeks and my nose, a thick fog was blurring my vision. The oppressing silence made me stop my race and I realized that I couldn't hear any sound but the gusts.
ReplyDeleteI really like your description, we can almost feel the hurt of the wind and the thickness of the fog makes the atmosphere almost suffocating. It makes me want to know the ending and what happened :)
DeleteAs the sun was fading away and the grey clouds where giving their place to the silver moon, you could feel the salty breeze becoming colder. Toes in the sand, hair in the wind, the sails of the boats dancing their last dance, the waves crashing on the shore you knew the end is close.
ReplyDeleteI really like your description Elisa! I think the words you used emphasizes the idea of time going on. There is a real evolution through the adjectives you used, such as "colder" or the "last". It goes from something pleasant to something more mysterious and maybe dangerous...
DeleteIt ws realy interesting to read Elisa. I think you did a very good job creating a mysterious mood. I like your sentence of toes in the sand and hair in the wind, it really give an impression that the head (and the mind) is separate of the body, opposing instinct to go away with wonder about what end are you talking about. It also think taling about the cold breeze, followed by the violence of the waves, is quite powerful and give a desesperate tone to your description.
DeleteThe empty streets were grim, the rain was pouring off my long hair onto my sorrowful face like tears of pain onto my soaked and heavy trench coat. I have been walking for hours and no one is letting me in, letting me into their distant brightly lit house, letting me into their life... no, I'm alone, an unstoppable nightmare, yet a very real one.
ReplyDeleteI really like yours Dylan :D It is complete with all the sensory imagery, especially the tactile imagery is very well done because I could feel the exhaustion of the "hours" of "walking". I could also the solitude expressed thanks to the use of the words that connotate with aloneness ("empty", "no one", "alone").
DeleteI remember it well, the day the sun kissed my cheeks softly warming up my whole body. The day the wind wooed my nose with its delicious pancake perfume. The day the bedazzling golden rays bewitched my eyes. The day I tasted freedom.
ReplyDeleteI really liked yours Eva, I think the gustatory imagery has been really well expressed (thanks to the pancakes smell), and I also think the sensitive imagery with the wind and the sun touching different parts of the body is very interesting !
DeleteA dark, cloudy day was coming to its end. When night came, with a whispery wind, the clouds in the sky flew away, leaving room for a big, round, cheddar-cheese like moon, that glowed of a cheesy, pale yellow. Everything was silent around us, and the warm city lights we could see from the top of the hill were screaming at us, urging us to come down and enjoy the urban night life. But we did not want to go. Not yet.
ReplyDeleteYour text is really rich and I think you did a pretty good job. You created this calm and still atmosphere of peace with the peasurable and peaceful glow of the moon contrasting with the glaring and aggressive lights of the city. It is definitely soothing, we can see a sense of hope with the clouds "flowing away" and the will a group that is being "screamed at" by and often appealing yet only leading to depravation and dissillusion urban night life to stay on a hill and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.You successfully managed to appeal to all senses, even using personnification ("whispery wind" which is also by the way an imagery evoking the sound of the wind and making the text vivid) even if the twive repeated "cheese" sounds quite inappropriate and could "ruin" this lovely atmosphere, or distract the reader from it. Also, you wrote four sentences instead of two which could be fixed by including the two last ones into the second one using a semi-colon and a coma.
DeleteIt's as if the wind had disappeared that day. It's as if everything had disappeared, except the sun l which had come closer and closer, making the air more and more difficult to breath. It was still, quiet, even the usual birdsong could not be heard anywhere. My body was made of lead , the blinding and dominant sun pressing on my shoulders as I walked on this endless road. Each step was an effort, a burden.
ReplyDelete(to breathe* I think)
DeleteI love your text Ninon (as always, should I say?). I like the crescendo effect you made there, speaking first of the wind, than making everything more oppressing, and talking about the body after that. It really makes the reader feel this heaviness, this burden.
When she started dancing, the dim light of the lanterns seemed to brighten, and the noiseless night was suddenly filled with a kind of uncontrollable fire, brightening and destroying as she moved. //
ReplyDeleteLooking around, he saw only brightness, and it was all too much, the way the sand burned his feet, the way the waves crashed deafeningly a few feet away, and he closed his eyes before he could glimpse yet again the unbearable light of the all-powerful sun among the oppressive, perfectly white clouds.
Stunning descriptions, Alice! I just love how you are able to woven conflicting ideas with the first one, going from a rather serene and harmonious image to a reckless and almost aggressive burst of energy in the last words. The way you explored the perception of one's surroundings with your second text also surprised me (in a good way ;)). The oppressive tone that you created completely transfigured the positive ideas that we would associate with a costal landscape, making it appear very overwhelming and reflecting effectively your character's troubled state of mind.
DeleteThe grim and heavy-hearted clouds were crying, tears dropping one by one making our clothes heavier as we walked. The strident whistle of the wind was loud, blowing hard, trying to stop us. You were walking in front of me, holding my hand and leading me; you, the only sunny spell in all this grey, keeping me going.
ReplyDeleteI really like yours Ambre, I think you used efficiently the different kinds of imagery to create a powerful and relevant atmosphere. Even though you describes a rueful situation, the presence of hope at the end is greatly introduced. I love the way you describe your second character as "the only sunny spell in all this grey", it made me feel this so special relationship built on confidence, support and love.
DeleteI really like how you choose to express the sense of hope only at the very end. When reading this, I feel more and more weighed down, if that's even the right word, and then the last sentence changed everything, making the tone sweeter, more hopeful too. I love how you make the opposition between human warmth and agressive nature, too
DeleteThat mawkish Spring morning, even your inner whirlwind of hostility could not keep the sunbeams from gleaming on your hot cheeks. The air was heavy with dew and heady scents of early blossoms ; the cloudless, azure sky was jeering at your miserable strife. Troubling how nature remains placid in front of our little grieves.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your description Emma! I find really effective the parallelism between the human’s moral instability and the constant cycle of a ubiquitous nature, almost oppressive at the end. The ambiguity of nature is also a particularly interesting part of this description; this nature that both warms man’s heart but also laughs at him, contemplating him from all its greatness, its diversity, its perfection and its unchangeable stability. Your conclusion makes it all, and we understand as man is insignificant before what is nature. Of course I not only like the “WHAT?” but also the “HOW?” and your use of metaphors and appeals to the senses are according to me effective and evocative.
DeleteI ran, not knowing where and not knowing exactly why, under this oppressive black lid that seemed to engulf all light approaching, pierced by a single hole that let in a beam of a disturbing yellow light, which appeared to me as a projector following me in the shadow. Now, the lid was oozing heavy and warm drops all around me and my running became more difficult, surrounded by the dense vapour air had become and by the regular sound of these invisible and liquid projectiles hitting the ground.
ReplyDeleteSuch a striking description Augustin! I love how you have not once mentioned anything directly related to weather, and yet the reader automatically understands that you are talking about a storm. Yet the way in which you have described it also conjures up a battle-like image, almost as if your protagonist is being pursued by the storm, and having to fight against it. This is definitely conveyed by your simile of the 'projector' following them, which is a great image. And of course what reinforces the heavy, chaotic atmoshpere here is the sensory imagery - the brilliant contrast between the 'oppressive black lid' and the 'disturbing yellow light' sets a vivid and eerie scene, and the tactile imagery of the 'heavy and warm drops' makes me feel so involved and close to the action. Well done!
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ReplyDeleteThe dusk was caressing the warm and salted ocean, illuminating each crystals of our delicate sand carpet. The melodious and invisible breeze was whispering in my ears as I was contemplating your unsettling gaze... My heart was beating so loud that I could almost feel your anxiety... But the breeze became stronger, troubling my thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteBy this time, you grazed my fragile hand, got near my ear and murmured :
"I love you".
Well... I'm impressed I thought yours was very touching and the atmosphere you create through these line as an immediate effect. The language is effective and well-used. That's really great
DeleteThe sky was rumbling, great clouds of black were rolling in. A howling and biting wind tore at my ears, leveling the grass before me and swaying the trees. A flash! Thunder roared, nearly blowing out my eardrums. This was a storm not to be trifled with.
ReplyDeleteI like the part about the roaring thunder because I think sound imagery really help the reader to grasp the idea conveyed by the imagery and make the reader dive into the situation the speaker is describing. I found your sound imagery pretty clear and really easy to picture.
DeleteCompact clouds were hanging low beneath the rumbling sky, ready to crush every single thing on the fragile ground. The dark silhouette walked solemnly, allowing themself to be guided by this oppressive power, seemingly trusting it fully and yet knowing he was the one who controlled all of it.
ReplyDeleteI like your work. The imposing clouds create a threatening atmosphere (especially thanks to the word "rumbling" that seem to announce something dangerous and the opposition with the ground which is "fragile") around this last character you're talking about, the menacing and powerful figure of a leader
DeleteWhat's more pleasurable than reading a book in a coffee shop, alone and undisturbed, slowly sipping the shadowy and sizzling drink causing the anesthesia of an often fearless tongue, appeased by the mixed fragrances of the smooth paper and the bitter yet oddly stimulating one of the espressi being brewed a few feet from the table and adding to that comfortable warmth contrasting with the rainy streets. In those moments, life seems to stop to give room to the story that is being read and only the sounds of the surrounding activities like grating voices or noisy cars can be reminders of the agitated and cold oustide that is to be joined soon.
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DeleteI really like your work. I can clearly imagine the situation as it is true that reading a book is like going into another world. You emphasized this idea with the contrasts between the cold and noisy outside of the coffee shop and its warm and quiet inside and numerous appeals to the senses which convey comfort and ease. However, there's also a sense of apprehension at the end and of regret about not being able to stay inside for a longer time, which I totally understand.
DeleteI loved your text, Esteban! Your situation is very relatable and the abundant sensory imagery reinforces this! The close attention you give to details in the first part emphasizes the "slow motion" sensation you describe later.The very long first sentence gives me the impression it is your thinking process as you are sitting in the coffee shop, your flow of observations as you are preparing yourself to leave this paradise. It is an overall extremly effetive and original text! Congrats!
DeleteI ran. I ran by a pouring afternoon, the rain was brushing past my whole skin but my hair, source of an infinite stream was sodden, the wind had began to scream. The sky an ocean raging, mixing all kind of blue from denim to sapphire passing by spruce was just upper myself, and felt so close. It wasn't a time to clear my mind I guess but the effect was immediate.
ReplyDeleteA pale morning of April, I was walking in the street, enjoying this unique moment when the air is not dry yet, the wind still inexistant and no one can make his mind between cool, hot or cold. There I was, lost in my toughts, when a sudden change of atmosheprer got me back to reality. I looked at what looked like a spiced storm, but felt like a soft sun. It was neither of them, or maybe it was both. All I can recall for certain is that the brise hit me like a blast when She looked at me.
ReplyDeleteAs the sun was slowly leaving, the twilight came upon me; dosing off, staring at the fluffy clouds floating around like candy-floss, I admired the sky. From crimson red to azur blue this gentle sky seemed as smooth and tasty as a s'more.
ReplyDeleteI love your comparison of the sky with "candy floss" (I think you meant cotton candy, but both can probably be said) because sometimes when I'm really hungry and look at the sky I wish I could eat the clouds. Also, I love s'mores. Your use of colors is really interesting, so do s'more blog posts with them! :D
DeleteAll around, good job
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ReplyDeleteI like how straightforward your text is, Thibaud. I can really visualize the darkness spreading quickly and effectively everywhere around the narrator, draining everything, and I found it interesting, the implied sense of fear it brings out.
ReplyDeleteI was lying on the ground, immersed in the muffled atmosphere of the late afternoon. The quiet scent of rain was slowly reaching me. But still nothing. The oppressive, paralysing heat outside promised a heavy rainstorm, I thought would never come.
ReplyDeleteI really like your description! It really gives an impression of heaviness and that the character is uncomfortable. I was thinking that the character's mood was reflecting on the landscape and that was really interesting.
DeleteWe were at last there, in front of the threatening castle of Westover Hall. The bitting wind was frozing my blood. My shaky legs could not bear my weight anymore. The snow was whipping my face. The sleet was falling thickly. Pushed by a flurry of snow, we entered, and what I saw... I passed out.
ReplyDeleteThe sun was rising, the sky bleeding out the night's tears. It was fresh on the heated roof, the moon, high up above me, was dying in a soundless, strangled cry. I laughed with a bitterness only equaling the night's death with the awakening world.
ReplyDeleteI could not explain it but it was a new feeling; perhaps something in the way the wind would lash out one moment, a chilly breeze that bit through my skin, only to feebly peter out the next, leaving the sun to scorch my back; or maybe in the stillness that it left behind, in the thin, insubstantial mist that seemed to hang there, only waiting for its chance to evaporate. But in the end, I figured, it was neither of these; what struck me the most was the smell that the wind brought with it, a smell both of cold and of warmth - the scent of a world frozen in time, poised on the edge of winter, wishing for it to come but not quite daring to fall into its arms.
ReplyDeleteAs the pressure increased, thick, plump, billowing clouds of a deep grey rolled towards us, accompanied by the apprehensive, foreshadowing smell of the ground reacting to rain. The sky flashed in anger, having chosen a far-away victim, and a caterwauling sound halfway between a scream and a roar instantly tore through the heavy atmosphere which was impatiently awaiting the moment when it would empty itself out onto the earth.
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