Write a paragraph about something that amazed or amazes you. Use
diction, detail, imagery, and syntax to convey your sense of wonder.
Comment on the effects and/or effectiveness of a classmate's blog post.
Due by Friday, November 6th. (Also, please answer the poll on the right)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt felt like it was all over in an instant. Silence. Nobody dared to breathe, although icy clouds of air were going out of our mouths. And then, the Moon rose. She covered everything with her light. A bloody red light that could warm up and freeze at the same time. Nothing and nobody could escape it. Our eyes turned into burning gems while contemplating the Red Moon. Clouds danced around her, submitted to her majesty. There were no stars. Only the moon, sovereign in her infinite kingdom of bright darkness. The moon beat, like a living heart, in harmony with my soul. At this moment, I was convinced I was seeing the most wonderful thing on earth.
ReplyDeleteI love your post Chloé :D. The way you used sentence length allows the reader to truly experience your wonder and with me it even cut my breath for an instant ^^. In addition, the royal vocabulary you used adds a sense of immensity, as if the event was so impressing that it is impossible to forget it. I also love your second last sentence because it highlights the grandeur of the moon which had such a big impact on you that it even controlled you ^^.
DeleteTo conclude, it is a perfect text thanks to the paradoxical use of sentence lenght varying from long to short, also thanks to the vocabulary adding an imposing aspect to the moon and to the imagery you used :D.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI do not consciously know what amazed me nor amazes me nor will amaze me…
ReplyDeleteYet, my subconscious I might – hence shall we inquire:
Every day, every night;
Every star that sparkles bright;
Every drop falling from high,
Like blessed tears falling from the sky,
Full of mirth or full of sadness.
Flora is here to amaze us
With Fauna; and both, endlessly,
Aye mystifying our psyche.
Such sounds the response: if we perceive totally our universe, we will understand not one minor detail amazes us – everything is!
Still, I do not consciously know what amazed me nor amazes me nor will amaze me…
I really enjoyed reading your text Jinte ! The poem in the middle is very interesting and very well written. I liked the way you used "Flora" and "Fauna" like names to personify them. The vocabulary is well chosen and worrds like "sparkles", "endlessly", "mystifying" and "psyche" really emphasize the idea of amazement in front of nature. Good job :)
DeleteI really like your text, the poem that you included in the middle makes your text very original, and emphasises the feeling of amazement. Your use of syntax is also very effective, as is your use of anaphora. I also enjoyed the overall message of your text. Good job :)
DeleteIt amazes me all: no matter how small, no matter how tall, no matter how typical, no matter how unusual. From the freshness of Spring to the ripening Autumn. From the mystic amethyst sunrise in Giza to the uncovered citrine sunset in Colorado. From the joyful smiles of mirth like rays enchanting your face to the grieving droplets of sorrow like rain strengthening your pain.
ReplyDelete- This is all part of life.
- Life amazes me.
I really like the anaphoras you used, it creates a sense of greatness that nothing can really accurately describe. Also, a very good strong word choice and a well written overall paragraph. Good job!
DeleteSo much vividness and striking images captured in a few lines! Your writings always have that lullaby-like rhythm which I love, especially in your first sentence with the repetition and the internal rhymes. Your exploration of all the aspects of life was particularly effective thanks to your use of contrast and antithesis that is enhanced by the parallel structure ("From (...) to (...)") repeated three times in your paragraph. Besides, the shift of perspective from the cycle of seasons to that of the sun and finally to one's emotions is very clever and adds that little texture which made me want to re-read your text :)
DeleteA handsome man, an attractive woman, a couple. And then one cheerful girl, one lovely boy, a family. Time works to make us live, to make us die but he is powerless on love.
ReplyDeleteThey are both facing troubles, braving life's difficulties but still holding their hands to build a common story. I have seen it, this protective glance he fixes upon her when he knows she is anxious, the way he wraps his arms around her waist to reassure her and her smile, her true, grateful smile.
Almost twenty years, and it has not faded. Keep trying Time ; they are indestructible.
I just simply LOVE your paragraph! It is so intriguing how you state love isn't overpowered by "Time", meaning "Time" is not the most powerful element, Love is; this idea is, for me, unique since most of the texts we've seen state time is the most powerful. Moreover, I have to admit I smiled at the end when the speaker defies "Time" knowing it will not win (haha :P).
DeleteWe stood on our own, as everyone left when it started. But it was just the beginning of the show. We would have done anything just to watch the sun go to sleep every night. Of course we knew that when the sun was disappearing here it was only to wake up somewhere else at the same moment. While some of us were slowly falling asleep, others were being torn out of bed by their alarm clock to go to work. As some of us were smoothly abandoning themselves to the world of dreams and wonders, others were caught into the tornado of life and tried to stay on track. We wanted to watch this sunset until the end. This one felt different than the others. This time, we felt like something was happening. The sky slowly gave up his rosy cheeks while the sun was escaping smoothly to a brand new day somewhere else. Our hands were shaking like a child impatient for his surprise. We knew the end was close. Darkness suddenly pushed the sun away, stealing the city’s last whisper. Nothing left but silence. We stood there, breathless and bewildered by the show. Our eyes were sparkling with the reflection of the moon who replaced her star-crossed lover whom she may never meet. Stars were lighting up with our dreams. We danced and laughed on our way home, wondering how they could all go to sleep and avoid this beautiful gift.
ReplyDeleteI really love your paragraph! The progression of your sentences until the climax of the sunset is very representative of the movements of the sun itself. The adjectives you used convey a feeling of loneliness and amazement. The variety of sentence lengths pays attention to silence and to the importance of the moment. To conclude I would say that your use of literary features makes your paragraph very moving and striking.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAfter a sultry day, the heavy-hearted sky finally broke down and started sobbing : it began to pour. I opened my arms and raised my face upwards to embrace the welcome coolness of the rain with my eyes wide open : I refused to miss a single moment of the show. The whole sky would light up for a few seconds and turn the clouds into a mix of purple and magenta before yielding to the imposing grey again - the thunder, a bright hope, a fire, was trying to break through the clouds, the ashes that engulfed it... The heavens would then groan to release its pain, holded back for so long, and I felt the power of it resounding through my whole body. The metallic smell filled my nostrils and the electric air was a palpable tension. Nature was so alive ! It could feel, it could breathe, it could communicate… It was calling out for us to join it.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you used details and personification in this text. To me, it's what conveys the feelings of awe—no, passion, felt by the speaker toward rain and nature the most. "the thunder, a bright hope, a fire" may be my favorite part of your text, because as I said just before, it conveys the burning passion of the world around the speaker perfectly.
DeleteMy own text is about the power of words, and yours is one of many texts that prove words' power, to make the reader feel what they never felt before, to convey feelings of hope, passion, despair... Er, I'm getting carried away. I thought your text was very effective, anyway
Your text is a striking one, Ambre! The detailed colours, the appeal to pretty much all the senses, the striking imagery (comparing the storm to a show for example), the accumulated nouns that made me think of an avalanche of lightning bolts : everything lead up to a full feeling of relief (especially triggered by "finally" at the very beginning)!
DeleteIt was moreover very pleasant to read and to share the soothing feeling of a good rain!
Of every wonders living here on earth, none has as much power nor beauty as snowy mornings have. Waking up, your feet lead you to your front door to admire how the night changed your yard from dry-grassed to peace-atmosphered. A smile appears on your sleepy face. You get ready, put on some winter cloths and walk outside. The first step in the frozen nature warms your heart unexpectedly: the cracking of your sole against the white ground is like a spring melody to your ear. Today is going to be a good day; not only because you decided it would be, but because Mother Nature decided to give you a little help as well. Not even the most cold-hearted individuals can resist the pleasing feeling of a white nature ; not even the most alive city can resist the calming mood floating around the buildings, not even the broken spirits can resist the presence of order uniting pieces of natures and pieces of soul. Every single living soul's heart is won by snowy mornings, and so is yours.
ReplyDeleteEffective, well-written and true ! That's why I really enjoyed reading your paragraph, the way you emphasize this amazement by telling Nature wants it too, her power and force on everything. The repetition of "not even" shows that nobody can resist to it and it highlights your ideas. I totally agree with you I think we should be amazed by these simple events of life. You also involve the reader throughout your text and it affects us (according to me). The last sentence is the ice on the cake !
DeleteThere is no such curiosity, such simple awe, such lust for life than an baby’s awakening to his surrounding world. Everything retains his attention. The slightest detail becomes an object of bewilderment, fascination and enchantment. His entire self claims it, as he desperately wants to touch, taste, grasp the insect and the flower, the beard of his father, the sleeve of his romper… Fidgeting clumsily in his newly acquired body, opening wide his nearly blind eyes and gulping down every sensation with constant zeal, a few months old is blessed with a very special gift that most of us have forgotten : restless craving for the world.
ReplyDeleteI really like your work Emma. I find it interesting how the baby's awe but also your own, the narrator's, are mixed. We can see that through your syntax with your long sentences and numerous enumerations that seem to represent the great number of things there is to wonder about in our world; this wonder though described as the baby's also seems to be the narrator's. The form of your first sentence 'there is no...' and the repetition of 'such' also shows a strong amazement that we can also find in your use of strong phrases such as 'lust for life', 'constant zeal' and 'restless craving'. Moreover your numerous appeals to the senses help imaging the baby's thirst of experiencing and feeling. Your text is very effective!
Deleteshow* not 'shows' sorry !
DeleteImpressive, very impressive, this description is worthy of acclaimed novel !
DeleteYour description is very touching (to me anyway!)
I was sat in front of the school yesterday and little girl walked by me with a stick in her hand singing along and for some reason it really struck me, children are wonderful things aren't they! They are so naive yet so aware they take pleasure in the small things in life that we just take for granted. They ignore the problems that we have to face and most of all just seem happy. I find it beautiful.
I like the way you employ the exact right words for every sentence, the structure is just perfect and the enumeration of things just adds to the slow discovery of the world that you describe
I'm amazed, well done!
I have been staring at these pages for a long time, and my mind has drifted away to a land full of words; simple, striking words, making me feel the most tremendous emotions; scarce and nondescript words, each one of them shifting my world, if only a little; and I stand in awe. I welcome the blaze of words with open arms; I breathe it in : I let it heal and destroy. I may use these words : the doubt that will cross your face then, if only for a moment, makes me feel lightheaded; the understanding that will strike you, makes my world a little brighter; I rest in the knowledge that I may thicken the fog around you, that I may add some light to it—yet I am restless with this knowledge. I know the hurricane of words will not leave you unmoved, just as I know it will ravage me too. In the end, I let them use me : pass me around like a ragged doll, dizzy with joy and admiration. I relinquish myself to this captivity—and I never want to be free.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your paragraph and I find it really effective. I particurlary liked the way you present reading as a negative thing, a prison, an addiction, a storm to eventually conclude with the fact that this feeling is necessary to you. You also judiciously used comparisons and metaphoras as well as the vocabulary of the light or of the fog to show the paradox learning new things is : it may answer to your wonderings or add new ones to them. The overall is great and the lack of a precise structure adds on the idea of something passionnate and intense. An intense paragraph to show the intense feeling reading produces on you … great job ! ;)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing more beautiful than looking up during nigh time and seeing the majesty of the moon … except maybe the opportunity of seeing it much closer and treading its soil. What’s more representative of the science vertigo than space conquest ? Defying the laws of physics to rise to the stars, trading yesterday inaccessible lands, enriching human knowledge on a topic that extends beyond its understanding provoke to me the strongest admiration. It has ever been a source of amazement when, yesterday as today, people see these men moving in a space where silence end emptiness rhymes with beauty and complete liberty. The people who make it possible push the barriers of the impossible and silent by their audacity the former word ‘’never’’. Then, this is the door open to infinity : the endless universe, the strangest theories, the craziest assertions, the most incredible discoveries, the increasingly ambitious goals… And only one certainty: everything is still to be discovered.
ReplyDeleteYou're paragraph is really efective in the sense that you managed to use tone to convey your ideas and grasp the reader's attention. Leaving the reader full of wonderment with your last sentence, you expressed a kind of paradox as "everything is still to be discovered" it would actually mean nothing is certain. This point might leave the reader interested and puzzled wich is always a sign of good writing. The negation at the beginning grasped the reader attention (people prefer negations and tend to give more importance to them). The tone you used through the scientific vocabulary and laudative adjectives contributes also to this short apology of science. The interrogative makes the reader think about the question and I especially like the phrase "science vertigo" that embodies perfectly the idea of the "unknown". Your many lists portray the abundance of the things that are still to be found before you end with a proverbial sentence that carries, along with the rethorical question, all the force of your papragraph.
DeleteThe wave comes up. Its lip turns white with air bubbles. Right underneath this lip, a man on a surfboard paddles as fast as he can. When the wave starts breaking and carrying him on her way, he gets up on his board. It seems like he is flying over the water. To him, it feels the same way. He turns left, controlling the board with its fins, that are the only components of it that are in the water, inside the wave. He keeps on going, then crouches. He almost kneels on his sliding device. The lip, falling down from the top of the wave, creates a barel; the famous 'tube'. The surfer puts his hand inside the wave, in order to slow down. He is now inside the barel; you can not see him anymore. He is hidden by the curtain of water formed by the falling of the lip. On your right, behind him, the lip explodes on the water, creating foam. But wait: the surfer has reappeared; he is now going up and over the wave, that ends its course on the rocks, 10 or 15 feet in front of you. You are amazed. But other waves are coming. And other surfers on them. And the more you watch and admire, the more you want to be a part of this, and slide on the water yourself.
ReplyDeleteWell written, and very true! Some surfers are very impressive to watch. I like the way you include the reader in your paragraph, it reminds me of when we wrote poems in the second person. I also enjoyed all your detailing of the water. I don't know if you did this on purpose, but you called the wave "her". I find the idea very poetic, seeing as the sea is always personified as a woman. All in all a good job!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI feel like everything can be amazing, sometimes you see it and sometimes not, it's a question of perspectives, point of view and mood. But I had to describe only one thing so:
DeleteAnd now, the best moment of the day: night
Within an hour, it was all submerged by a deep darkness.
I love the dreary atmosphere of the streets with their lamps, making a dim, pale, livid light. Feeling the deepness of the night, as if she wanted to communicate, to talk. And then opposed to darkness, the ivory queen, up in the sky reigning on the town, alone. Her majesty, over all these shadows hidden in the fog wrapping the town. A bunch of lonely people, going back home as quick as they can, escaping the night. So, is night really dangerous as they all say?
I can remember it like it was yesterday. It wasn't the first time I'd seen it, far from it, but on that particular day I realized that this was the place I wanted to be. This was the place I wanted to grow. This was the place that made me feel safe, made me feel at home for once. It was a clear day in the end of summer. A day I looked up and saw that skyline, and, far behind it, the endless Pacific. A day I thought to myself "I could never live my life elsewhere than here". It was the day before I left my beloved city a second time, before my life flipped upside down yet again. I could live to be a hundred, and live the rest of my life in my city, but I'll never see it that way again. I'll never see San Francisco that way again.
ReplyDeleteWell, this place is pretty big... bigger than I thought!
ReplyDeleteSo, where are we going first?!! The set list is too long, too many choices. As long that I avoid the Portuguese "humor stage" I'll be fine!
Oh temples are up , "quickly, follow me...
... well, I've been here for while now and I must say, I like it, I like it a lot !
People are interesting, all swarmed up in this huge place yet so close to each other.I don't now if its the guys spliffin' up next to me or the beer dripping on my head but, wow, the stars look beautiful tonight! I might just be tired. What time is it? One, two in the morning? Not going home yet though.
Stage lights shinning in my eyes, good sounds vibrating from my feet up to my ears and brain cells... Music is life
*know
DeleteI really liked your text, the suspense you let before telling what amaze you is very effective. Your syntax is uncommon but add to the effectiveness of your description. Your conclusion is moreover a reflection of your relation toward music. I by the way agree and I think that the first part is essential in the effects your text as on the reader
DeleteBewilderment. This is the only word that comes to my mind when I think about the way a butterfly, through a magical mechanic of which it keeps the secret in its cocoon better than a successful alchemist, comes to life. It has waken up. Its coma was intense but now it unfolds its iridescent wings in the most majestic pizazz. From a sluggish convulsing worm-like caterpillar it has changed into the most somptuous creature on the planet. The difference is total : the most delicate animal of today, almost dying from a touch on its powdery wings, seeming to be on earth only for its beauty, vain privilege, actually was the nefarious and tenacious larva of yesterday. No other specie is capable of such a miracle and evolution must have pitied the vile creature to grant it such a secondary appearance ! Like a caterpillar, we all fancy such a remarkable elevation . Yet, becoming a butterfly might not be that easy : some worms remain worms for their whole lifetime...
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! Butterflies are indeed a source of amazement - but also puzzlement - for many people. I loved the way you managed to depict the creature's beauty while also explaining its vulnerability... Your paragraph is full of colour, with an almost magical side and your thorough choice of vocabulary really contributed to the overall image. I'm intrigued at the dark elements you decided to include near the end...
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhen looking at the sky, a tepid night of summer, far from the madding crowds, in an isolated countryside, I was struck by its impressiveness. It was not the sea or the mountains, no paradise on earth, but who would have exchange the sparkling diamonds of the sky for any of it. So I lay down on this green fresh grass and admire the beauty of the spectacle that was offered to me. I began to dream about what was beyond, sending my spirit in the middle of those stars. My trouble went away, my entire life was no more than a thought : the sensation was unequalled... The stars were hundred, thousand even billions and I was alone cherishing this moment. It was no common sky, it was sensational ! All those lights in the dark of the night so similar and so different at the same time. Some were shining other gleaming, I could even observe a white trail so the sky was clear and the night beautiful. And dreaming through the twilight, I realise how infinite universe was and how little I was. Universe was the most fascinating thing I could have dreamed of and stars a gift from the sky and I remembered why child I wanted so deeply to explore them all.
ReplyDeleteEvery night they are here, and every night they are just as amazing and perplexing. The stars. Isn’t it astonishing how something so inconsequential in appearance really represents something so tremendous? Something so vast it has no ending... It is simply stupendous. They shimmer softly, simultaneously the only glimmer of hope in the dead of night and a gentle reminder of our insignificance compared to the immensity of the universe around us, of how meaningless every single one of us really are. The stars are a symbol for everything that surrounds us, and they are remarkable.
ReplyDeleteI love your post. I completely agree with you about the amazingness of the stars. I really liked the fact that you made some rhymes because it emphasizes your idea and the link between the apparence of the star and what it really is. Also, the "..." make your point more important since you said it has no ending. I really enjoyed reading it :)
DeleteWe were looking through the window, shaking from excitement, watching as the sky tore itself apart. The storm, like a furious, wild bear, unleashed its anger. We turned off the lights of the tiny room, admiring the mastodon's madness, as he spewed out his rage. The lightning filled the sky while Oooooohs and Aaaaaaahs filled the room. We stayed there for an hour, amazed before the power of the beast like kids before a candy shop. From that day on I've been chasing storms like an Irishman hunting for leprechauns.
ReplyDeleteI really like your paragraph, and not only because I love storms but because I thought it was very effective. I like how you compared the storm to a wild animal and how you gave it feelings. I also find the use of onomatopoeias original, and appealing to the sounds in addition to all the different imageries that you created. The last sentence is a bit surprising but it actually creates a humorous ending, so well done ;)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis sound cannot be made by anything else, by any other instrument that you could ever find. No other sound can be as clear and delicate as this one. The clarinet is not just a simple instrument. When it is entrusted to skilled hands, it can be given a whole personality, a soul, in its purity and vividness. If I close my eyes for a moment while listening to it, I can imagine the shade of a person, singing, with the purest and clearest voice. The shade is sometimes sorrowful, enthusiastic, romantic or melancholic; the many different feelings the clarinet conveys- and so distinctly- has always astounded me. I never found an other sound that moved me as the sound of the clarinet does.
ReplyDeleteWhen sitting on the edge of a sharp cliff, I once considered the world expanding itself before my eyes : so far that the endless glaucous swell blended with the ashy nebulas, so far that the dark green lands faded in the distance instead of marking a distinguished skyline. Such is the essence of Nature : ambivalent. The monstrous, overpowering Force triggering merciless earthquakes or tsunamis, controlling rain or wind, allowing plants or animals has regulated from the begining of Time billions of small meaningless things, humans.
ReplyDeleteBut in the shape of a titan lives fragility. Uncovered lately by Human exhuberant surfeit. Invulnerability has revealed to be an imposture. This delicate balance is easily destroyed. Nature's soundness hid for long a need of care. Its strength – a want of attention.
It has been a source of amazement as well as awe ever since : our whole world relies on what turned out to be a delicate and weak guardian. And everything could go so wrong...
What I love about your paragraph, Julie, is that it seems so personal and yet so universal at once. I don't know whether it's in the nature of the subject or in your fantastic control of narration, but it makes a really enjoyable read. I think what mainly contributes to the effectiveness of your paragraph in terms of showing your amazement is your diction: your vocabulary is both very original - I'm thinking of words such as 'glaucous' and 'nebulas' - and extremely precise, such as when you describe the 'essence of Nature' as 'ambivalent'. It's the perfect word! This is emphasised by the use of a colon and short sentence, which make it that much clearer. Your switching between long and short sentences really conveys the powerful feelings you have about this subject, and overall your use of syntax is great. Well done!
DeleteMusic. The one art understood by all, whatever the age, whatever the origin, whatever the language. It has been at our side since the dawn of time, a perfect combination of sounds, notes, colours - a skill mastered by few; true, undisputed genius.
ReplyDeleteIts diversity is truly astonishing. From the deep, fuzzy rumble of a bass to the crisp, fresh strums of a ukulele, music occupies a spectrum broader than the supposedly endless hues of light could ever fill. It's an art that tells a story. It accompanies history, narrates lives, plays along to love. It soothes. Or it excites.
Whatever its purpose, whatever its aim - music can only bring happiness. It fills lives with joy, brings people together, moves crowds. The notes that it's made up of may be ephemeral, but its message is eternal: Love. Laugh. And sing.
Thank you for this great text, I think it is very effective because of the variety of phrases used, the punctuation and the ideas conveyed. The attention to details helps the reader picture the sound of the instruments described. I also liked the universality of the ideas that you pointed out.
DeleteI realise that all we’re supposed to talk about is the particular thing that amazed us, but please bear with me, because I really need a bit of context here.
ReplyDeleteSo this evening I went over to Alice’s after school, as usual on Thursdays. At the beginning, everything was normal; we entered the house, dumped our bags in Alice’s room, and went to get something to eat. But in the kitchen, an extraordinary event occurred. Blue sat down, I got us all some water, and Alice busied herself with the crêpes. Now I’m not really a crêpe person – they’re edible, but a bit bland to be quite honest. Seeing my lack of enthusiasm at the prospect, Alice pointed to the table, upon which sat a packet. ‘Wow,’ I thought to myself, ‘A packet.’ I have to admit, I was rather let down. Still, after glaring at the offending packet rather cynically for a moment I decided that, really, I had nothing to lose; thus, I opened it (in a way not entirely devoid of suspicion). And to tell the truth, I have never been more grateful for a decision. Because what was in that packet was – well, it was quite simply beautiful. It started with a kind of crunchiness, followed by this melting sensation not unlike that of chocolate. And it was – no, I dare not say it – but it was, well, almost better than chocolate. How light on the tongue, yet how potent to the taste buds! Salty, savoury, but sweet at the same time, a firework of flavours in just seconds, and so incredibly morish… The amount I consumed, I’m afraid to say, convinced Alice’s brother that I was slightly addicted, and he was obliged to take the Packet away for a time. Yet even as started I writing, inspired by my discovery, I had to take pauses every sentence or so, to steal another handful. I must have got grease all over Alice’s keyboard; but it was a necessary sacrifice. Alas, now, as I finish this piece – which can hardly do justice to the greatness of the food – I am separated from my muse… Oh, king of snacks! Oh, fairest of fares! Imagine my despair when I learnt that your origins were Danish; that I might never find your likeness again in France; that I was doomed to think with regret of the day my eyes lighted upon that fateful, fateful Packet. Still, I owe thanks to your creators, the people of Denmark, who had the foresight to come up with such a brilliant idea as yours; as that of crispy fried onion bits. In a Packet.
You told me this afternoon that you had trouble coming up with texts that were truly yours, that you felt were a reflection of your own way of thinking or expressing yourself. Well, Sophia, you have succeeded to make me see you, the slightly weird, creative introvert with the subtle humor (subtle, subtle...) through your text. Even as I'm writing this I'm still grinning because you used all the right methods of syntax, diction, detail to talk about your beloved crispy fried onion bits. I'm having some difficulty trying to express how much I appreciate your humor, the way I was captivated by this text.
DeleteDear, dear. You have managed to capture a powerful feeling of amazement, (dare I say love too—) effectively, in a not-boring-at-all text. I bow down to you.
Sitting down on the sea side, when the sun was crashing down in the sea giving his lasts bits of life to the people was his favorite activity. He knew exactly when the sky would turn dark and when the stars would light up. Life was turning off on the large coast. The sizzling of the sea side restaurant pans didn't disturb him he enjoyed the sweet smells of Indian cuisine. Suddenly he stood up, feeling it was time. The moment he had waited for all day long. Pushing a large canoe in the sea, water splashing his legs was not a problem. He was gone in a second. The bar tender later explained to me that he was the most serious fisherman of the Indian coast.
ReplyDeleteI'm admiring a ballet, I think, reaching down to touch the frozen ground. I sit on it, my hand patting the empty place beside me. My face is turned upwards, my eyes are blinking furiously and my booming laughter frightens the little dancers. They are little angels, falling down from the sky in an unbalanced disharmony, one quicker than the other. Each of their wobbly steps are unpaced and it's a symphony happening in front of me.There is no music, no words are spoken, just my laughter and their dances. It's a prayer for days to come, a promise, an oath of belonging. It's a dance and it welcomes me in its icy embrace. Confused magic and precise science are the creators of this bizarre work of art, and I'm grateful for the spectacle, for what can be more gratifying than snow falling at a nonchalant pace?
ReplyDeleteShe was crushed. Beaten. Facing the icy ground. Left there, on a winter, freezing night without nobody to tell her to hang on to her life. The surrounding world hit and hit and hit the more, until leaving its defenseless victim on the floor. But, in a moment of greatness, she stood up sluggishly and stayed there on her chicken legs, like the phoenix raising from its ashes. She stumbled at first, but kept going on. I have been amazed of that strength she had to dig deep down to find. As I think of it, I have always been astonished of such proof of bravery, that kind of strength you are unaware of until you have no other choice. That's what makes a person, it's not the stupid clothes she wears or the dull things she says; it's her stamina to pain and her profound desire to rise up after a failure, her way going from obstacle, to obstacle without losing the little flame of hope that resides in her heart. It is the sacrifice of what you are, to what you could become. Watching that death fated little thing on the floor stand up and defy anybody to stop her, really was the most inspiring gesture I had the occasion to see. So what are you waiting for?
ReplyDelete-Marie
Delete