"Her face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like bone."
Substitute a noun for bone that
changes the meaning and feeling of the sentence. React to a
classmate's substitution, commenting on how it changes the sentence's
connotation and impact.
Her face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like wax.
ReplyDeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like quicklime.
ReplyDeleteBy reading your substitution one can clearly see you're in S. But even if at first the precise scientifical aspect of your substitution is quite surprising it definetly makes one pause and think... The "quicklime" makes the agressive and angry aspect of the colour "white" and he adjective "sharp" more obvious and the woman in question seems about to explode in fury. Moreover it contrasts with the candlelight scene which conveys a serene and comfortable atmosphere : it seems on the edge of a hudge storm. Finally the adjective "gleaming" associated with the quicklime makes this seemingly innocuous light emanating from her more omnious. Very mysterious sentence!
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like quartz.
ReplyDeleteI love your substitution :D It connotes beauty, fragilty and elegance which, to me, refers to a beautiful young woman ^-^ It is also very effective thanks to the harsh "k" sound which can be heard in "candlelight" too : it makes the word stand out more and it adds strength to the woman who is described :D
DeleteI enjoy your simile Anaïs, it emphasizes on the woman's precious and fragile beauty but it also implies a certain strength, elegance. As quartz reflects the light, I've the impression that the woman you describe is also radiant, that her beauty is revealed by this candlelight.
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like paper.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your sentence. I think this substitution is effective in many ways: the sense of fragility is definitely reinforced, with still a touch of harshness. Good job!
DeleteI love this simile, it's actually the one I wanted to use initially... It connotes a certain amount of fragility, but the fact that the paper is said to be sharp too makes one think of a danger, proper to the woman described. Your text maks me think about that time I cut myself with paper while cuttig it... That even the most fragile of things can be dangerous, like the woman described here
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like a seashell.
ReplyDeleteI really like your image. A seashell evokes fragility but at the same time protection and stiffness. Indeed, the seashell is little and can easily be broken but at the same time it has a protective form since its a bit arched and seem quite strong. Also, seashells have different colors inside and outside which reminds the difference between the inside and outside of people.
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like foam.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great image you created with this simile. It gives the woman a very fragile look but also creates a mysterious atmosphere around her because foam is actually bubbles so that could mean she "contains" something in her explaining her fragility.
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like damaged china.
ReplyDeleteTo begin with, your simile absolutely connotes fragility. With the imagery of the broken piece of porcelain which might imply the girl has been suffering or is suffering at the moment, we take pity on her without even knowing her. Moreover,as china has most of the time blue ornamentation tracings on it it might show that the depicted woman is diaphanous, almost translucent (as if we could see her veins) and so really weak and perhaps in poor health. China is a luxury product (for good pieces) and this could suggest, as it is now broken or at least damaged, some social or moral tragic upheaval. Yet, even if we had to use only ONE noun, adding the adjective "broken" enhanced and definitely changed the meaning in a more interesting way. Very good work!
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like ivory.
ReplyDeleteI really like your simile too Thibault ! Ivory shines in the light, thus it reflects the idea of a "gleaming" face. Moreover, ivory is the material of elephant's tusks which are very sharp and can hurt; these tusks are also empty inside and I think it truly illustrates the fact that she may be dead, that life has vanished from her body. Well-chosen simile !
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like ice.
ReplyDeleteI love your simile Eva! The opposition of the coldness of ice and the warmth of the candlelight gives the impression of something unnatural than cannot be warmed up by anything. We could almost think she is dead... It can also reflects the personality of someone who feels no emotions. It creates a rather dark and gloomy atmosphere and it can have several interpretations. That's why I find your simile very striking!
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DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like a knife.
ReplyDeleteGreat substitution! For me, it really emphasizes the adjective "sharp" and suggests to me you chose the more dangerous side of the subject.
DeleteSince her face is "gleaming in the candlelight" the perilous side of that girl is enhanced by this and may mean something wicked is about to happen (as if in thrillers or horror movies ^^).
Furthermore, the fact that not every knife is white, I would think it is a ceramic knife which are extremely durable and difficult to break: this could mean this special subject is also very tough and even murderous since a knife is a deadly weapon.
Her face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like mother-of-pearl.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your use of mother-of-pearl because it gave the woman's face more color than just white, it gave her a rainbow-like whitish color (I don't really know how to describe mother-of-pearl XD). I think it adds character to the woman, maybe showing beauty beneath her initial white blandness.
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like frozen bubble.
ReplyDelete(Sorry I am aware that we are supposed to use only one word but frozen bubbles are so beautiful ... Please look at this if you wish http://www.fubiz.net/2015/02/20/frozen-bubble-ice-crystals/ ...)
Otherwise :
Her face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like crystal
After looking up frozen bubbles, I agree with you, it's really a beautiful sight! It's really a powerful image to associate with this person, giving her face an aspect of something fragile and yet, an idea of something so carefully carved that it's quite unreal. It's also changing and attract colours... I think it's really fitting if you wish to describe someone who is fascinating and elegant!
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like a star.
ReplyDeleteI like yours ! The association with a star conveys a certain sense of wonder and the idea of an unattainable beauty that the described woman seems to have : the fact that you chose a star reminds of how we look up at the sky to see the stars and thus gives the feeling that the descriptor looks up to the beauty of the woman.
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like a snowflake.
ReplyDeleteI liked your simile, because it adds a sense of coldness, that contrasts with the warmth of the candle. But apart from being cold, a snowflake is very delicate, and beautiful. It creates a new side to this face which seemed very "sharp" but sounds more gentle and precious now.
DeleteAs Pauline said, the snowflake contrasts with the heat of the candle. But I think it adds on also to the description of the woman and possibly her character, she seems cold and distant. I liked it!
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like chalk.
ReplyDeleteI really loved your choice of the word "chalk"! I think it perfectly fits the adjectives given: white, of course, with sharp edges and gently reflecting part of the soft candlelight... And it contains an element of fragility, something ephemeral, when you think about its everyday purpose. I can imagine the soft layer of chalk dust lying on the surface, the first particles destined to leave the body, before the whole of it eventually gets rubbed away entirely...
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ReplyDeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like glass.
ReplyDeleteI really like your simile. The use of the word 'glass' really emphasises the sharpness of the girl's face, making it sharp and angular in a delicate and graceful way, whereas the use of the word 'bone' had connotations of a stronger, almost muscular face. This completely changes the way we see this woman.
DeleteI agree with Ondine but I want to add that glass is not white but translucid and I think it highlights the fragility but also this pale aspect of the woman's face. What's more, it changes our view of her because her face is gleaming and reflecting almost like a mirror. Your simile truly inspired me !
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like an untouched diamond.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed you simile: the idea of an untouched diamond emphasizes the idea of the purity of the woman and the diamond shows a radiant, shinning and happy woman.
DeleteGood job! ;)
I really liked your simile, may be a bit because I had the same which is truly a pure coincidence. I thought that a face compared to an untouched diamond was something very pure innocent but also beautiful also shining like the sun :)
DeleteHer face was white and sharp slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like marble.
ReplyDeleteor
Her face was white and sharp slightly gleaming in the candlelight like a daisy.
I couldn't pick one...
I like both of your similes, since you compare her face to either a living element or a mineral. This completely changes the way we imagine her face gleaming, and how sharp it is.
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like white moonstone
ReplyDeleteI found your simile very effective. Indeed the moonstone conveys a sense of fragility, imperfection since the inside is quite motley but also a sense of mystery and beauty. I think it is really well chosen here because we can really imagine this stone gleaming and seems really linked with the moon. Eventually I think the theme of beauty in the imperfection as well as the gloomy mysterious atmosphere this stone inspire fit really well the descriptions. Good job !
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like plastic.
ReplyDeleteYour choice of word really surprised me, Tom! It made me pause and intrigued me, as plastic is quite a nondescript material and can convey many different impressions. For me, it connotes falsity, as if the pallid figure evoked was concealing her real intentions or feelings. Yet with the "gleaming" light, it also introduces and element of vulnerability as I picture a face with a diaphanous and almost see-through skin. Great job!
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like frost.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great substitution Ondine! While the somewhat eerie aspect of the bone has gone, you've really managed to keep the idea of sharpness, which is especially reinforced by the sensation of cold your simile conjures up. This not only makes the girl's face seem sharper, but gives us some indication of her character as well. Even better, there is a certain fragile beauty about frost for me - it sparkles in the early morning light, but so soon it melts or is destroyed under peoples' feet.Your simile creates the impression that the girl described is special, maybe even a bit magical, but also that she is somehow insubstantial, and not made to last. Well done!
DeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly in the candlelignt, like diamonds
ReplyDeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like a stalactite.
ReplyDeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like a fang.
ReplyDeleteI found your choice of the word "fang" very effective, Emma. It has a very powerful connotation and suggests a certain danger and wildness in the character's personality. With the use of this word the reader immediately associates this character with a wild animal, which emphasizes this threatening image of her. Well done :)
DeleteHer face was white and sharp, and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like ivory
ReplyDeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like ashes
ReplyDeleteHer face was white and sharp and slightly gleaming in the candlelight, like a floating iceberg.
ReplyDeleteI like your substitution. Indeed, the sand evokes a soft and smooth general aspect; contrasting with its gruffiness once in one's hand. Thus highlighting the mystery that caracterize the described character. Moreover, sand is slightly gleaming when under the bright sun, so it really fits the girl's description.
ReplyDelete